ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL

Anon 18th century

A friend of mine was married to a scold,

To me he came and all his troubles told.

Said he, “She’s like a woman raving mad.”

“Alas, my friend” said I, “that’s very bad.”

“No, not so bad,” said he, “for with her, true,

I had both house and land, and money too.”

“That was well,” said I;

“No, not so well,” said he;

“For I and her own brother

Went to law with one another;

I was cast, the suit was lost,

And every penny went to pay the cost.”

“That was bad,” said I;

“No, not so bad,” said he;

“For we agreed that I the house should keep,

And give to me four score of Yorkshire sheep,

All fat and fine and fair, they were to be.”

“Well then,” said I, “sure that was well for thee?”

“No, not so well,” said he,

“For though the sheep I got, every one died of the rot.”

“That was bad,” said I;

“No, not so bad,” said he,

“For I had thought to scrape the fat,

And keep it in an oaken vat,

Then into tallow melt for winter store.”

“Well then,” said I, “That’s better than before.”

“Twas not so well,” said he,

“For having got a clumsy fellow

To scrape the fat and melt the tallow,

Into the melting fat the fire catches,

And, like brimstone matches,

Burnt my house to ashes.

“That WAS bad,” said I;

“No, not so bad,” said he, “for what is best,

My scolding wife got burnt up with the rest!”

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